New Year, Same You (And That’s Not a Failure)

The Soft Lock-In — January Reset Edition

Hi chat 💚

Happy New Year ✨

I hope you spent the holidays with the people who matter most to you — in whatever way felt right. I know I did.

Now let’s talk about January. Because if you opened your inbox this week and immediately felt your soul leave your body… same.

Projects that were a “January problem” are suddenly circling back like unpaid debts. Everyone is fired up. Motivated. Rebranded. Talking about Q1 goals, roadmaps, deliverables, and “hitting the ground running.”

And I’m just sitting here thinking: I am tired in a way sleep does not fix. So if that’s you too — pull up a chair.

New Year, New Me… Or Just New Expectations?

January comes with this unspoken pressure to become someone else overnight. New routines. New body. New mindset. New life.

The internet would have you believe that if you didn’t wake up on January 1st at 5am, gratitude journaling, drinking green juice, training twice a day, meal-prepping for the next 365 days, and glowing — you’ve already failed the year.

And listen — if you are fired up, vision board ready, Canva wallpaper locked in, routines mapped to the minute for the next 12 months… that’s genuinely amazing. I love that for you.

But that’s not where I am. And maybe that’s not where you are either.

The Eldest Daughter / Fixer / Strong One Problem

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get enough airtime. Eldest daughter syndrome. Empath energy. The “strong one” identity.

Being the one who:

💚 handles everything

💚 fixes everything

💚 absorbs everyone else’s emotions

💚 keeps the peace

💚 doesn’t ask for too much

💚 doesn’t start drama

💚 doesn’t fall apart publicly

Being the boss babe. The doer. The reliable one. It looks impressive from the outside. Inside? It’s exhausting.

Somewhere along the way, I forgot how to take care of myself — not because I didn’t want to, but because I was too busy putting out fires everywhere else.

Over-giving doesn’t make people love you more. It just depletes you faster.

Ask me how I know.

Therapy Helped… And Then Life Happened Again

I’ve done therapy. I’ve done the work. I’ve learned emotional regulation. I’ve learned how to not react, not spiral, not explode. After a breakdown last April, I genuinely believed I’d come out stronger ✨

And then January arrived.

Work restarted. Pressure returned. Everything sped up. Suddenly, all that regulation felt… delicate. I’ve cried. I’ve felt overwhelmed. I’ve had moments where it felt like I was drowning — quietly, privately, while still showing up.

That doesn’t mean therapy failed. It means healing isn’t linear. It’s more like: “Oh, we’re revisiting this lesson — but with better tools this time.”

Why This January Feels Different

Usually, I love this time of year.

I’m the girl with:

💚 vision boards ready

💚 goals broken into systems

💚 calendars mapped out

💚 big dreams and smaller steps

But this year? Shock horror.

I haven’t even made a vision board yet. I haven’t locked in a full routine. I haven’t gone back to the gym (for valid health reasons — but still).

And yes — part of me felt like a failure. Because I didn’t start the year all guns blazing. But here’s the reframe I’m holding onto:

If you start the year exhausted, your job isn’t to accelerate. It’s to stabilise.

A Quick Reality Check on Timing

Something important that doesn’t get said enough:

The real new year doesn’t actually begin on January 1st.

Energetically, historically, symbolically — it begins around March 21st, the Spring Equinox ✨

January isn’t a rebirth. It’s a transition.

And after years of shedding, endings, and deep change, it makes sense that we’re not sprinting out of the gate.

Sometimes January is just about:

💚 catching your breath

💚 letting your nervous system calm down

💚 choosing softness instead of punishment

That’s not falling behind. That’s intelligence.

Planning — But Make It Soft

I still believe in plans. I still believe in vision. Without them, we float. But planning doesn’t have to mean turning your life into a 100-step routine that starts at 4am and ends in burnout by February.

Instead of asking: “How do I change my whole life?”

Try:

✨ What would actually support my energy this year?

✨ What does consistency look like without exhaustion?

✨ How can I train in a way that regulates my nervous system?

✨ What meals help my hormones feel stable?

✨ Where do I need more rest — not more discipline?

✨ What am I allowed to do less of?

That’s Soft Lock-In planning. Structure that holds you — not traps you.

This Is the Turning Point

I’m not writing this from an open wound. I’m writing this from a pause. A moment where I realised:

I don’t need to restart myself. I need to rebuild with care. That’s what The Soft Lock-In has always been about.

Not forcing. Not performing. Not punishing yourself into productivity. But choosing:

💚 honesty over hype

💚 structure over chaos

💚 softness over self-abandonment

What’s Coming Next

Next time, we’ll talk about how to structure your days and weeks in a way that:

💚 doesn’t add pressure

💚 works when motivation is missing

💚 supports you even when you already feel stretched

No rigid schedules. No life-overhaul nonsense. Just soft, realistic structure that actually sticks.

Final Soft Lock-In Reminder

You don’t need to rush. You don’t need to reinvent yourself. You don’t need to be everything to everyone anymore.

You just need a plan that supports the human you actually are.

We rebuild slowly. We choose structure over chaos. We follow the plan — not the mood. 💚

We’ll build from here.