I Failed My 100-Day Soft Lock-In Method… Or Did I? 💚

I Failed My 100-Day Soft Lock-In Method… Or Did I? 💚

Hi chat 💚

I failed…

Or at least, that’s what I thought.

The last time we spoke, I was somewhere around Day 38 of my 100 Days Soft Lock-In Method. That was in March… yeah.

I was building routines, prepping for my 31st birthday, packing up my life to move into a new home, drinking my water, eating my meals, stretching and somehow still maintaining a social life.

I had a plan. A great plan, for that matter. The kind of plan that looked pretty on my Notion board.

And to be honest, the plan was pretty simple and attainable:

✨ Get my life together.

✨ Continue rebuilding.

✨ Have a fabulous birthday month.

✨ Keep showing up.

✨ Move into my new place for a new beginning.

However, in true Kristina fashion, God looked at my plans and said:

‘You wanted a challenge and to not feel comfortable anymore - say less’.

Looking back, I think I need to start being a lot more specific when I ask God for things. ✨

Goodbye, Sanctuary In The Clouds

A little backstory is needed, I guess…

In September 2024, I moved back to London to rebuild my entire life.

And somehow, without meaning to, I found a home that became so much more than just an apartment.

💚 It became my sanctuary in the clouds.

💚 My safe place.

💚 My bubble that nobody could burst.

The place where I experienced some of the highest highs and lowest lows of my life.

I laughed there.

I cried there.

I screamed there.

I spent weeks rotting in bed there.

I celebrated my 30th birthday there with people who aren’t even in my life anymore.

I healed there.

I grieved there.

I rebuilt myself there.

And more than anything, I felt grateful there.

Every morning I woke up to endless London views stretching across the horizon and every evening I’d watch the sun disappear behind the skyline.

Every night I’d lie in bed watching planes cross the sky and wonder where they were headed and wonder if I’d get to go too.

And then my man showed me the app where you can track planes in real time and honestly, that became a whole hobby for a while.

I watched the moon.

The stars.

The sunrise.

The sunset.

The rainbows.

The rain.

I took hundreds of photos of the sky because somehow it reminded me that change is constant, even when life feels completely stuck.

And I never shared much of that apartment online because it was mine.

A place where nobody could touch me.

A place where I could hide.

Heal.

Exist.

Just be.

Growth Requires Discomfort… Right?

But growth doesn’t happen in hiding.

And when I made the decision to move, it wasn’t because I hated it.

Quite the opposite.

I loved it.

I loved it too much, actually.

I decided to leave because I had become comfortable.

Too comfortable.

And if you’ve followed me for any length of time, you’ll know I’m a big believer that growth requires discomfort.

I wanted a challenge.

I wanted something new.

I wanted to push myself into a new chapter.

I wanted to become someone I had never been before and to become someone you’ve never been before, you have to go to places and do things that you’ve never done.

What I didn’t want nor expect was to go through hell and back.

The New Beginning That Became Hell

On May 1st, what was supposed to be a fresh start became the beginning of one of the most stressful months I’ve had in years.

And I don’t say that lightly…

I’ve rented properties for almost 12 years.

I’ve worked in the London real estate industry.

I’ve viewed hundreds of properties.

I’ve dealt with landlords, agents, contractors, developers, property managers and management companies.

And despite all of that experience, I can genuinely say I have never experienced anything remotely as horrific as renting through Foxtons.

Not even close.

Before anyone asks, yes, there were good people involved in this move.

✨ Bossman Vans ✨ Absolute legend. Professional. Efficient. Reasonably priced.

Probably the only reason I didn’t completely lose my mind on moving day.

So if you’re moving anywhere in London, book them.

Everyone else?

Straight to jail. Diabolical behaviour.

What should have been an exciting move quickly became an endless cycle of issues - leaks, water ingress, mould concerns, damaged flooring, contractors going in and out of the property every other day for weeks, disputes, complaints, endless emails and calls, and constant stress.

Instead of settling into my new home, I spent most of my time documenting problems and chasing solutions.

Be Careful What You Pray For

The irony isn’t lost on me.

I left my old apartment because I wanted to challenge myself.

I wanted growth.

I wanted discomfort.

I wanted to step outside of my comfort zone.

I just didn’t realise my comfort zone would be replaced by what felt like a full-time unpaid crisis management role.

I guess I really need to start being more specific when I ask God for things, because He really does deliver.

The problem is, when I asked for growth, challenge and character development, I definitely wasn’t expecting the Premium Strongest Soldier Package™.

I was aiming for the Soft Life Deluxe Edition with extra peace, sunshine and minimal trauma.

The Birthday Month Didn’t Go To Plan

My birthday is on May 13th.

And if you know me at all, you’ll know that I don’t believe in working during my birthday month.

It’s a personal policy.

A lifestyle choice.

A constitutional right, if you ask me.

To be honest, I think my birthday should be a national holiday.

The plan was to take some time off, enjoy myself, reset, celebrate, spend time with people I love, step into my next year feeling refreshed and settle into my new apartment and new area of London.

Instead, I spent my annual leave fighting with Foxtons.

Not exactly what I had envisioned.

A Beautiful Goodbye & Homage

There was, however, one genuinely beautiful moment in the middle of all the chaos.

For my 31st birthday, my man took me out for dinner at Sky Gardens.

Now, if you’re not from London, that probably sounds like a nice birthday dinner.

And it was.

But for me, it meant so much more than that.

Because before all of this, I lived in a building called Sky Gardens.

My sanctuary in the clouds.

The place that held me through one of the most transformative years of my life.

So sitting there, high above London, looking out across the city skyline, felt strangely emotional.

It felt like a goodbye.

A quiet acknowledgement of a chapter that had come to an end.

A tribute to the apartment that became my safe place when I needed one most.

A reminder that although some chapters close, they don’t disappear.

They become part of us.

For all the chaos surrounding my birthday month this year, it was one of the most thoughtful things anyone could have done.

And for a few hours, with London stretched out beneath us and the city lights beginning to flicker on, nothing else mattered.

It was just a moment of gratitude.

For what was.

For what is.

And for whatever comes next.

Because although saying goodbye was difficult, I’m grateful I got to experience that chapter at all.

The Cost Of Stress

However, the biggest surprise wasn’t the issues in the apartment, the leak, the broken fixtures, the lack of professional cleaning, the mould, the contractors, the arguments…

The biggest surprise was what all of that stress did to me.

Because stress isn’t just mental.

Your body keeps score and boy, mine certainly did.

And the past month reminded me very quickly that my PCOS, psoriasis, allergies and pretty much every other health issue is directly linked to stress.

Chronic stress, over long periods of time.

I feel like I’ve aged about five years in the space of a month.

I look at photos from my old apartment and I genuinely look like a different person.

✨ Calmer.

✨ Lighter.

✨ Less exhausted.

✨ Less inflamed.

✨ More me.

Because chronic stress doesn’t just affect your mood.

It affects your hormones.

Your sleep.

Your digestion.

Your skin.

Your recovery.

Your appetite.

Your motivation.

Your nervous system.

Everything.

The Trap I Fell Into

And that’s exactly why I slowly stopped doing all the things that normally keep me grounded.

💚 The gym disappeared.

💚 The routines disappeared.

💚 The structure disappeared.

💚 The content disappeared.

💚 Soft Lock-In disappeared.

Because every day I told myself the same thing:

‘I’ll get back to it when this is sorted. I just need to get my living situation fixed…’

The problem is that life is never fully sorted.

There is always something.

The Lesson I Didn’t Expect

So did I fail or did I just forget that I created The Soft Lock-In Method to build structures that wouldn’t crumble when life happens?

It was never about being perfect for 100 days straight.

It wasn’t about never falling off track or being motivated all the time.

It wasn’t about perfection.

It was about learning how to build structures that would allow you to get up and try again… and again… and again…

But there was another lesson hiding underneath all of this.

A lesson I probably needed far more.

There’s a huge difference between being uncomfortable because you’re growing and being uncomfortable because you’re suffering.

Growth asks you to stretch.

Chaos asks you to survive.

Growth makes you stronger.

Chaos drains you.

Growth feels uncomfortable because you’re evolving.

Chaos feels uncomfortable because your nervous system is screaming for help.

Choosing Growth Over Chaos

Not every difficult situation deserves your endurance.

Not every struggle deserves your loyalty.

Sometimes resilience isn’t staying.

Sometimes resilience is leaving.

Which is exactly why I’ve handed in my notice.

Thank you, the lords of renters rights which allows me to give two months notice and leaveeeee.

And honestly?

It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made all month.

Enough of the suffering and the misery.

I’m ready to do what I set out to do.

✨ Grow.

✨ Evolve.

Starting Again

Today is May 31st.

As I’m writing this, the apartment issues still aren’t fully resolved.

But I can finally see a way out.

The countdown has begun and I’m moving to a new place on 30th July.

And for the first time in weeks, I feel hopeful again.

The goal was never 100 perfect days.

The goal was becoming the type of person who starts over when life knocks her off course.

And if the last month has taught me anything, it’s that growth rarely looks like a perfectly colour-coded morning routine.

Sometimes growth looks like filing complaints.

Sweating through a heatwave.

Questioning every life decision you’ve ever made.

Losing your abs.

Watching your hormones throw a tantrum.

Feeling like you’ve aged five years in thirty days.

And still choosing to try again tomorrow.

The Soft Lock-In Method 2.0

So here we are…

The Soft Lock-In Method 2.0 ✨

Not from a place of perfection, but from a place of resilience.

Because what did I tell you guys before?

Momma ain’t raise no quitter.

We pick up, regroup, pivot and try again.

Hopefully next time I write to you all, I’ll have some great news.

Now, will my next apartment be my dream home?

Probably not.

In fact, after the month I’ve had, I’d settle for dry floorboards, no mould, functioning appliances and an estate agent that answers emails without causing me emotional distress.

The bar is currently on the floor. ✨

One Day This Will Be A Funny Story

But one day, in the very near future…

I’ll be sitting in my dream home in the sky, drinking my morning coffee, looking out at breathtaking views stretching across the horizon, watching the sunrise paint the city gold…

And I’ll probably re-read this blog and laugh.

Laugh at the stress.

Laugh at the leaks.

Laugh at the endless emails.

Laugh at how convinced I was that the world was ending because my life had temporarily gone off-script.

Because that’s the funny thing about difficult seasons.

When you’re living through them, they feel enormous.

Permanent.

Overwhelming.

But when you look back years later, they’re often just another chapter in the story.

A chapter that shaped you.

A chapter that taught you something.

A chapter that helped you become the person sitting in that dream home.

So whilst this chapter wasn’t the one I expected, I’m trusting that it’s leading me somewhere even better than I can see right now. 💚✨

We’re picking ourselves back up.

We’re rebuilding.

We’re trying again.

And as always…

We follow the plan, not the mood. 💚✨