Christmas, Closure, and Doing Less Without Guilt 🎄✨

The Soft Lock-In — Winter Solstice Edition

Hi chat 💚

If you're reading this, there's a very real chance that work is technically still happening, your brain has already left for the holidays, your out-of-office reply has been drafted, revised, deleted, rewritten, and emotionally loaded, Christmas shopping is either done… or being attempted at a truly biblical hour, and your nervous system is begging for peace, quiet, and a hard reset.

Good. You're exactly where you're meant to be.

Today is the winter solstice — the shortest day of the year — which feels fitting, because most of us are also operating on minimal daylight, minimal patience, and minimal tolerance for one more “festive catch-up.”

Let's talk.

I'm Still Working (Unfortunately)

For transparency and solidarity: I'm working until midday on the 24th of December.

Yes. Midday. Yes, that is diabolical. Yes, I regret not booking annual leave and will be journalling about this decision for years.

Especially because in my culture, Christmas is celebrated on Christmas Eve — the evening of the 24th. So working that day feels spiritually illegal, culturally offensive, and personally disrespectful.

The only thing keeping me alive right now is this:

✨ all my Christmas shopping is DONE

✨ strictly online — because physical malls in December are my personal version of hell

✨ I get overstimulated, overwhelmed, and cannot be squeezed between people like a festive sardine under fluorescent lighting

✨ and I am simply surviving until I can switch on my OOO and disappear peacefully

If you're also “working but not really working” — I see you.

Meanwhile… The Last-Minute Shoppers

Every year, without fail, there are people who leave Christmas shopping until the final moment.

And when I say final moment, I mean:

✨ Mary (yes, Jesus' mum) is approximately 4cm dilated

✨ the manger is being assembled

✨ and then they decide to go to the mall

Chaotic. Disrespectful to retail workers.

A lifestyle choice I will never understand.

If that's you — may the queues be short and the panic be manageable.

You're Allowed to Be Done 💚

At this point in December, most people are either pretending to still be productive or fully dissociated and signing emails with “Kind regards” on autopilot.

If you're done with work, shopping, forced cheer, social overcommitment, and pretending Q4 energy exists — that doesn't mean you're failing.

It means you're human in December. Your out-of-office might say: “I'll respond when I return.”

But what it really means is: “Please do not acknowledge my existence until January.”

Valid. Supported. Encouraged.

Let's Talk About Spending Christmas Alone 🎄

This needs to be said clearly:

Spending Christmas alone is not a failure.

I've spent two Christmases alone — not because something was wrong with me, but because I don't have family in the UK. I was living alone in my apartment, not in a relationship, and alone was simply the option available.

One Christmas I wrapped the presents I bought myself, opened them on Christmas Eve, re-watched Harry Potter for the 10,000th time, drank Baileys coffee, and ordered a pizza.

Another Christmas I was so sick that I slept on and off all day, lived on medicine, ordered another pizza, and watched movies in a fever haze.

Not tragic. Not sad. Just… life.

Being alone at Christmas doesn't mean you're unloved or behind. And being surrounded by people doesn't automatically mean you feel connected either.

Both can be true.

The Social Media Christmas Delusion 🎄📱

Matching pyjamas.

Pinterest-approved table setups.

Colour-coordinated trees.

100 dishes no one actually eats but everyone photographs.

Social media will have you believe that if your Christmas doesn't look like a lifestyle advert, you've failed the holiday. But real life doesn't always look like that.

Sometimes Christmas is:

✨ one or two dishes, not a full spread

✨ a takeaway instead of a home-cooked feast

✨ comfort movies on repeat

✨ staying in your apartment in comfy clothes

✨ not going anywhere near a mall

You don't owe anyone proof that you're “doing Christmas properly.”

Christmas Is My Favourite… Even When It Doesn't Feel Like It

Christmas is usually my favourite time of year. I'm normally a November decorator — lights, cosy chaos, fully committed. But the past few years?

I didn't feel it.

I didn't even decorate properly. One year I didn't put up a tree — which shocked me more than anyone.

You don't owe the season enthusiasm.

You don't have to feel festive on command.

You're allowed to meet December exactly where you are.

Presents, Money, and Doing Less Without Guilt ❄️

Life is expensive.

You don't need to overspend to prove love.

You don't need to panic-buy gifts out of guilt.

You don't need to financially stress yourself for aesthetics.

You don't need to keep up with anyone else's Christmas budget.

Being thoughtful is enough. Protecting your peace is enough.

And if between now and the 27th your only real plan is resting, not making plans, and not speaking unless necessary — that's allowed.

Rest Doesn't Mean Abandoning Yourself ✨

Doing less doesn't mean doing nothing.

It means eating something nourishing most days, drinking water occasionally, and moving your body gently — a walk, a stretch, five minutes of effort.

You don't need to train like an athlete.

You just need to remind your body you still live in it.

Eat the meals. Take the walk.

And if a Reese's Chocolate Santa appears?

Christmas logic says it contains 45g of protein.

We accept it and move on.

Winter Solstice: A Soft Reset ✨

Today is the winter solstice — the darkest day of the year. From here on out, the light slowly returns.

If you want a gentle ritual:

✨ Write 13 wishes on small pieces of paper

✨ Fold them and place them in a bowl

✨ Burn one wish a day for the next 12 days

✨ On day 13, open the final wish

That last one?

That's your responsibility for the year ahead.

No pressure. No panic. Just intention.

A Soft Lock-In Reminder 💚

You are not doing Christmas wrong.

You are allowed to rest, opt out, keep things simple, enjoy the season quietly, and protect your energy.

Sometimes the softest choice is the strongest one.

The pre-New Year post is coming next — where we'll talk about closure, release, and why punishing yourself into a “new version” on January 1st never works.

For now:

Breathe. Soften. Eat something real. Move a little. Switch on that out-of-office. And don't let December bully you.

Before I Go 💚✨

Whether you celebrate Christmas, another holiday, or nothing at all — I'm wishing you rest, softness, and a moment to exhale.

If this time of year feels joyful for you, I hope it's grounding and warm.

If it feels complicated, heavy, or like something you're simply getting through — I hope you're gentle with yourself.

You don't need traditions to deserve peace. You don't need to perform joy to be doing life “right.”

Whatever this season looks like for you — happy holidays, in the way that feels most honest to you.

Here, as always, we follow the plan — not the mood. 💚